19 thoughts on “pajamas: 4/365

  1. Don’t get mad, Cynthia, if I play the devil’s advocate here by asking whether this project, which at the outset sounded so valuable, is to share with the world 365 accurate facts about Cynthia Martin — such as that she prefers to spend the day in pajamas? [If the photo is to be believed, black pajamas with snappy socks and a lovely fire to go with them!] Or is it to reveal, maybe also to yourself, who you really are deep down inside? If the former, bring on the pajamas! (And next, perhaps your favorite hot drink?) But if it’s going to be a voyage of true discovery, then the next question, after the accurate fact, is “Why?” Why is it so good not to get out of your pajamas? Does it have to do with what you perceive to be the effort of presenting a more public Cynthia to the world? (If so, what does that say about you?) Or that your life is normally too full of activity — so that you relish the day you don’t have to dress!? (Which would lead to another why.) Or something else entirely that I couldn’t imagine without more to go on? I realize this makes the daily post a more extended effort. I also realize that if I ask myself why I’ve made this possibly disruptive comment, the answer reveals something about me — the degree to which twenty-two years of therapy has led me to keep looking beneath the surface for the truth. But that’s where “why”s get you. Okay, now I’ll shut up. 🙂

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    • Nina, not mad at all, quite the opposite. I love almost any kind of comment–the cheers as well as the ones that make me think. Contributing to my desire to start this daily practice was something that happened about a year ago. I was asked to name three of my quirks, and on the spot, I couldn’t do it. I was sure I had them, but I couldn’t come up with any. So with this project I want to unearth all kinds of things about myself and say them out loud–deep truths and not-so-deep truths. The kinds of things that make me an interesting and idiosyncratic person. I’m casting a wide net because the hole is so big. And in four short days, it’s working. I’m starting to notice things. And although it’s possible that there’s something beneath the surface of my preference for a day spent in pjs, I don’t think so. Nothing shimmers around that to tell me I need to press harder. It satisfies my quest to notice, and to say out loud, that this is my favorite kind of day.

      And about the photo, I was in fact sitting in exactly that spot as I wrote this post, still in the black pj pants I had slept in. This is my writing week in Provincetown and this is the rental I’m staying in.

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  2. After some long periods of minor depression in my teens and early twenties, I outlawed wearing pjs all day at home unless I’m ill. If I don’t have to go out, I wear my “soft clothes”–mainly comfy clothes made for exercise. Unless I’m headed for a workout, I can’t wear those clothes, nor sneakers, outdoors. You know how if you smile, you will feel a bit happier? That’s how the clothes work for me–if I realize I’m in my pjs at 2 o’clock in the afternoon, I automatically feel a bit sad. Anyway, it delights me that you don’t have that association, and in fact the opposite, for you wearing pjs is like smiling. I hope 2015 is a very pj-heavy year for you. As for the deeper meaning of your post, I also love best my quiet days at home, and although it took me years to figure this out, my alone-time is precious and necessary. All hail the shut-ins and misanthropes and hermits.

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    • After I wrote this post, another friend told me a similar story, that because of certain memories, wearing pjs during the day was depressing. It’s fascinating, especially from a writing standpoint, how such seemingly small things can acquire so much meaning. And I think it’s writing that has made the quiet days at home so precious. Love the idea of “soft clothes.”

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