1 true thing: 1/365

The last couple of years, I’ve been spending more time writing fiction and less time doing everything else–including showing up here and including taking time for myself. And I don’t mean manicures and massages. I’m a very private person. So private that I don’t even know what I think sometimes. So private that I have a hard time saying things that are true about myself. So private that I can’t even come up with a bio that includes anything other than facts and figures. Aaugh! On the plus side, the writing is improving, editors are interested, I’m receiving the loveliest of rejections, I’m getting closer to publishing a novel. But I seem to be getting further/farther away from me. The real me. The true me. What I really think about something. The way I really feel.

I was heading in the right direction with this is 57 last April, but that was one post on one day. After my birthday, I continued to spiral away from myself. I think what it’s going to take is a daily process, a daily practice. I want to catch hold of something true about myself every day, and I want to say it out loud.

Katherine James, an internet friend who is a commenter here, just completed a year-long project of her own—365 feminist selfies—which entailed posting a selfie on Facebook every day for a year. She wrote that the project started out being about her physical appearance and completing the project, but it became about “letting go of fear and inhibition, opening up to trust other people to like you or not for how you look and what you say, and no matter what they do, good or bad, knowing your heart will go on beating until it does not.”

I think of Facebook and Twitter as places to visit. I learn a lot of things while I’m there. Sometimes I feel worse after a visit; sometimes, better. I thought about hosting my project on Facebook as Katherine did. But then I remembered this place that I had created.

But although I’ve been thinking about this project for a while, I wasn’t sure about it. And then I got into Christmas and kids arriving home… If I were going to do it, I wanted to start on January 1st… but on January 1st, I had a house full. Last Friday, my husband and I accompanied the last child back from whence he’d come. We returned home Saturday. I came to Provincetown on Sunday where I finally had the time and the space to think. I began writing this post yesterday.

Which brings us to today, January 13th. And my project for the new year (which I will not abandon just because today is the 13th and not the 1st).

365 true things about me, 1 true thing at a time.

And even now, I’m not sure if this is a good idea. In fact, I reserve the right to abandon ship as long as I do it publicly, which would be as good for me as anything.

But if I can do it, I’ll be posting every day this year. Short posts, sometimes only a sentence. Still lots about reading and writing and life–just more me. If you are subscribed and don’t want to receive a post every day, please feel free to unsubscribe. My feelings will not be hurt. And to my faithful commenters (you two know who you are), you are not allowed to comment on every post!

So off we go. I’m looking forward to catching me and catching days.

~

 365 true things about me

41 thoughts on “1 true thing: 1/365

  1. Hi Cindy,
    Thanks for your fabulous post. It speaks to me in my own journey, tired of being the contest finalist and the recipient of many oxymoronic warm fuzzy rejections. I’m focused on renewing my meditation practice this year and focusing on writing what I want, enjoying the journey rather than keeping my eyes on some literary prize.
    I look forward to your posts, so count me it!

    Like

  2. Sometimes “true” things stop being so true, or develop into something else, as you explore them. Which makes what you hope to do here especially valuable. I very much look forward to your daily reports from the front lines of your exploration.

    Like

  3. So many times, so many of us, ignore our own self, sometimes to our own detriment. In my world of counselor education, we talk to our students about self-care and self-awareness… but I think there are many counselors in my world that do not practice what we preach, including myself. Thank you Cindy for an inspirational moment in my busy (and neglectful) day. Maybe we should follow your lead and pay a bit more attention to our own true self.

    Like

    • Thanks, Linda. I appreciate your comment. I did go back and forth about whether to attempt this and how to articulate what I was trying to do and why I was trying to do it, and it feels good (as well as surprising) to know it hit home with others. Which is such good encouragement heading in to tomorrow : )

      Like

    • Jodi, I responded to your comment days ago but have no idea where the reply went. Maybe I’ll run across it. In the meantime, thanks for your support. I couldn’t do it without you : )

      Like

  4. I would love to know 365 things about you. Even 10 if that’s the case! Especially if it’s only a sentence or two 🙂

    It’s funny—the first thing I thought of when you mentioned not knowing what you really think was that scene in “Runaway Bride” (was on TV recently which is the only reason it even came to mind!) when Gere’s character accused Robert’s character of not even knowing what kind of eggs she liked. Somehow I don’t think you’re issue is quite that severe 😉 Here’s to knowing more, regardless of how long that lasts ’cause 365 things may prove a struggle, even if you ARE a complex person 😉

    Like

    • Donna, yes, that scene in Runaway Bride. Exactly. I’m always asking my husband–how is it I like my eggs–over easy or over medium. I’m sure I’ll be posting about that at some point. And as to your second point, it was only after I started this that I thought to wonder if there were 365 things to know about me… : )

      Like

  5. Pingback: marwanmazmy

  6. Pingback: my life in pictures | sub rosa

  7. I love what you said about you being so private that you don’t even know what you think sometimes. I can relate! I too started a journey towards myself a couple of years ago when I started blogging. It’s taken a lot of quiet, alone time (which is so necessary for my well-being, I’ve come to realize!), journal writing and reading some great books, like Katrina’s Magical Journey, to begin to understand myself, my values, strengths and aspirations. So, all of that to say that this is such a valuable practice and I will definitely stay tuned to receiving your daily blog posts. Best wishes! Cora

    Like

    • Cora, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what they think sometimes : ) I appreciate your writing about your journey here. And welcome to Catching Days. I look forward to getting to know you.

      Like

  8. I found your blog when I was sick in bed and reading Alice Munro stories. Dimensions was so brooding and real that I had to find “someone” out there to chat with about it – and there you were. I am impressed with your desire for skill in writing and also recognizing the importance of needing to be open (even if only with ourselves) to become the writer we truly are.

    I read and write book reviews, and I find that sometimes I hide behind those – distract myself from the stories I have to tell.

    I appreciate your blog set-up and links and ideas. Just bouncing around here makes me feel like there are other writers like me out there.

    This has been a fun “sick-day”!

    Like

    • Adrienne, it’s so nice to meet you. Welcome to Catching Days. I loved “Dimensions,” and reading your comment makes me want to go back and re-read it. This daily practice does seem to be making me more comfortable with my self, as well as teaching me to expect a deeper level of honesty in my writing and giving me the vocabulary to make that happen. I’m sorry you were sick but happy you found me. I look forward to visiting your blog and reading some of your reviews. I hope you’ll be back. Get well soon!

      Like

Your turn...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s