when I’m not being a mother

IMG_2001My husband and son just left the house to take his mother (my son’s grandmother) to church and to lunch. I declined. It is, after all, Mother’s Day. As the mother, I should get to choose what I want to do. And I still choose what I began choosing that first mother’s day–time to myself.

Over the years, my children have criticized my choice. My husband jokingly blows it up as “we’re leaving-that’s what she wants.” Even with three children no longer living full-time at home, I still never seem to have enough time for me.

We, as mothers, should tell that truth.

IMG_1994In a little while, I’ll make another cup of tea and move from my desk to my chair with a stack of lovely books…Mothers, an anthology of stories about mothers, I‘ve Always Meant to Tell You–Letters to Our Mothers by Contemporary Women WritersIMG_2000, Don’t Cry (the book I’m reading now), the New York Times.

Later I’ll call my mother…

My family knows now how I like to spend this day. My husband could not be any nicer–supporting me in my choice, taking care of any obligations that arise and offering to fix me whatever I’d like for breakfast and dinner, wonderful cards. My children not at home all called, which I loved. I look forward to this day every year.

I certainly can forsee some time in the future when I have no children living at home and I never see them that I would choose to spend Mother’s Day with them if that were a choice. But for now, I’m in my study, my tea on my coaster, a bergamot candle scenting the air, the tree branches blowing in the wind, remembering who I am when I’m not being a mother.

4 thoughts on “when I’m not being a mother

  1. i loved this post cindy! i think it’s such a great perspective as so many feel like they have to fit in a mold and that’s not it at all! i think it’s so crucial for us all {especially women} to take time for ourselves and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it for one second.
    🙂 hope your mother’s day was wonderful!


  2. I’ve always thought that’s what “a room of her own” was all about.

    Rather than rooms where she has to keep having everyone else in mind.

    By the way I tried to reach you via your contact form and will send a 3rd note after I post. It’s a little off topic.


    • Andrys, how nice you found this post to go along with the recent series. I am very lucky to have a room of my own, where I have the freedom to do as I please. Thanks for your comment!


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